reading to ashes
A cigarette in one hand, his journal in the other.... Every night its been like this, Alternis thought, drawing a long smoke and coughing it out the next second. He wished it would choke these feelings from his lungs and throw him onto a different path, one where he didn't have to guard his 'enemy', if he could even call her that anymore. Just thinking of Agnés set his face ablaze, making him lay his face onto the cardboard desk he had set up.
Her presence always filled his stomach with butterflies, made his heart beat twice as fast; yet loneliness rattled his mind endlessly with thoughts of her in the dead of night. It was a stark contrast from when he first learned about her... He had thought of proposing to her once, but the sting of Edea's rejection still lingered, keeping him from trying again.
He knew without doubt that his love was unrequited, but he desired it- oh, did he desire it- more than what Eternia could bless him with, more than anything Luxendarc could offer, more than any world could change. It pained him to think that one day, with any kind of miracle, that the man in the stasis chamber would awaken and she would follow him again. Alternis would become nothing but static... stinging, empty, burning static...
Or was it the ashes that were piling up? Alternis scoffed, either at himself or the cigarette... maybe both. He'd swipe the ashes away before taking another smoke.
It hurt him to think that he'd have to turn to darkness again.